A Boy Named Charlie Brown - Part Two

Poor Charlie Brown feels that he is nothing but a failure.  Nothing seems to go right for him.  He's lost 99 ballgames in a row, and his ship even sinks in the bathtub.  We've all felt this way, but Charlie probably feels it the hardest.  There's a sweet little scene where he talks to Linus about his problems.

Linus: Winning isn't everything.
Charlie Brown: But losing isn't anything.

The two play tic-tac-toe, and Linus accidentally beats Charlie Brown, making the kid feel even worse about himself.  That's when Snoopy shows up.  Let me say something about Snoopy first.


Snoopy is an asshole.

Don't let the picture fool you.  Don't let Snoopy: The Musical with its sweet songs fool you.  Don't let his relationship with Woodstock fool you.  Snoopy is an asshole.

He has no respect for Charlie Brown or anyone else for that matter.  Although he and Chuck have had a few sweet moments together, Snoopy is a selfish little dog who pretty much only cares about himself.  He doesn't even know Charlie Brown's name--he just refers to him as "that round-headed kid who feeds me."  Just watch Snoopy Come Home.  Yes, there are some sweet and sad moments, but at the end of the day, he's still an asshole.

Don't get me wrong, I like Snoopy a lot.  He's cute and funny, but that doesn't make him any less of an asshole.  I normally wouldn't go on this kind of rant, but I'm sick of all the cutesy Snoopy merchandise and advertising campaigns.  Stop making him seem so sweet!  Read the comic!  He's an asshole!  Embrace it!  I'm pretty sure that's what Mr. Schultz (whom I mean no offense to) intended.  It's just the final straw for Charlie Brown.  Even his dog doesn't respect him.

Charlie Brown makes Snoopy some dinner anyway (cause he's a nice guy despite everything), and Snoopy devours it, then goes to sleep.

That's when the nightmares begin...

Snoopy dreams he's the iconic WWI Flying Ace, presumably fighting the Red Baron.  While the scene only lasts a minute, it feels like an eternity, as we basically see only one image of Snoopy smeared in different colors and shaken around a bit.  The music is pretty great, but the whole thing just feels too long, despite its short length.  It's almost a relief to us when he gets shot down.

Well, not a relief to Snoopy, who barges into Charlie Brown's house and steals the kid's bed, prompting Chuck to wonder aloud why his dog couldn't be normal.

The next scene takes place at...oh no...

GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!

You'd really think he would have learned his lesson.  But no, much like the football of chaos, Charlie Brown never seems to understand that Lucy's psychiatrist booth will end up making him feel worse than before.  And that's exactly what happens.  Lucy painstakingly points out all of Chuck's faults, and then humiliates him with the football.  Finally, in one of the funniest scenes, she makes him watch it in instant replay, just because she can.  Oh, and she bills him for it, of course.

Kids are evil sometimes.

A Boy Named Charlie Brown - Part One

Wow, this one brings me back. I used to watch this all the time as a kid. While I love the heck out of this movie, it's...it's...I'll come out and say it. It's not the greatest movie in the world. It's far from that. It's a nice film, it has some fantastic (and random) sequences, but it's a flawed film, much like Charlie Brown is a flawed person. And in a way, it's fitting.

But I might as well get to the recap and explain myself a little better.

The film opens with a cute little jingle (the "Champion Charlie Brown" song to be exact), and fades to Charlie Brown, Linus, and Lucy gazing at the clouds. In a scene taken directly from the comic strip, Lucy muses about all the things that one can see in the clouds. Linus describes grand, historical images that he sees.

Charlie Brown: Well, I was going to say I saw a ducky and a horsey, but I changed my mind.

That moment does a good job of summing up Charlie Brown--he's a well-meaning kid who just tries too darn hard. With that, we cut to the opening credits, accompanied by some great music by Vince Guaraldi (who wrote the film's fantastic score).

We are then presented with the gravelly-voiced Rod McKuen, singing the film's title song. It's a pleasant little song about how there's a little Charlie Brown inside of all of us. Charlie Brown sits inside, making a kite. He's satisfied with it and goes outside...

Until that happens.

Despite the setback, the kid just doesn't give up. He sits right back down and starts over. The film's done a good job of getting us on his side already.

Finally finished, Charlie Brown returns to the park, armed with his completed kite. But waiting for him is one of my favorite characters...THE KITE-EATING TREE!

"Would you like some candy, little boy?"

Undeterred, Charlie Brown continues through the park and tries to fly his kite.

Things get tense.

In the end, he just can't seem to do it. Delivering his lines in the classic Peanuts way (meaning he says everything as if he's reading off a cue card--which the voice actor very well might be), he leaves the crumpled kite with Lucy and demands that she take it away.

Lucy deposits the remains of the kite on a sleeping Snoopy.  A gust of wind picks the kite up and lo and behold...

Snoopy can fly the kite better in his sleep.

I don't know if they didn't remember to put the background in or what.

The next morning, Charlie Brown is out and about, heading off to the baseball field.  He is dismayed to find that the pitcher's mound is covered in dandelions, and the girls don't want him to cut them down. He looks kind of cute standing there.

Snoopy, meanwhile, is setting up a record player.  Okay, normal so far but then...

What the...?

What's happening?!

It's so patriotic, it hurts!

Dear lord!

Is that technically an adult?!

I feel proud to be an American all of a sudden!

The madness is suddenly over.  The others look on in voiceless confusion.

There's not much to say on the game.  It's essentially a montage of old Peanuts strips about how incompetent Charlie Brown's team is.  Of course, we have the classic "Charlie Brown is hit by a baseball and all of his clothes come off" bit.  Oh, and some bubble gum explodes in Frieda's face for some reason.

In the end, they lose, of course.

Take special note of those purple birds.  This is pre-Woodstock era here.

"Well, we lost the first game of the season again.  I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.  We always seem to lose the first game of the season and the last game of the season...AND ALL THOSE STUPID GAMES IN-BETWEEN!"