Saturday, June 16, 2012

Who's Tricking Who?

I love the Silver Age of comics.  I love it to death.  It's just so much fun!  Seemingly no one has any common sense.  No one acts like a rational person.  In the Superman universe, it comes down to three basic components for the characters:

1. Jimmy Olsen is an idiot.
2. Lois Lane is crazy.
3. Superman is a dick.

Yes, I know, the wonderful Superdickery website has already made the joke, along with half of the Internet, but I just love these comics so much that I'd like to take a crack at it, too.  Heck, this whole blog may become devoted to old Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane comics.  Time will tell.

To start, we're going to look at the story from 1959's Lois Lane #6 -- "The Amazing Superman Junior."

Isn't Lois a wonderful role model for little girls?  If you can't get what you want, lie about it!
Luckily, Superman is there to bail her ass out of trouble, as always.  And Supes is lucky, too, as Lois apparently stays unconscious long enough for him to talk to Perry White and co. to devise a "clever" ruse, as Superman often did in the silver age in order to teach someone a lesson.  Y'know, instead of helping third-world countries.  With great power comes...wait, wrong comic.
I love all the trouble that Supes goes through to teach a lesson to Lois.  You'd think being blasted into space would be enough of a lesson for her, but this is Lois Lane we're talking about, so...
Superman has a BEARD!  How TERRIBLE!  I personally think it's actually a pretty nice look for the guy, but what do I know?  I also like how Robin disguises himself as "Fred Ashley, someone you've never met!"  It's just unnecessary of him to add the "someone you've never met" bit.  Lois knows she hasn't met him, why is he telling her this?  I know that it's to assure the reader that they haven't missed out on some major character in the chronicles, but it just comes off as sloppy.
One can't help feel sorry for Lois, but the thing is, she's learned the hard way that she shouldn't be so snoopy  tons of times, yet she can never seem to remember.  She's like Stan Smith on American Dad in some aspects.
Sa-ay, looks like a monkey wrench has been thrown into the mix...
He didn't just bake a cake, he SUPER-baked it!  Who's going to eat it all, though?  It's a nice spectacle, but it's far from practical.
Yep, that's right.  A super-serum.  Something that should have been used in an emergency only (like the events of Arkham Asylum or Arkham City, for instance) was used to punk Superman and Perry White.  Then again, people were getting superpowers left and right in the silver age, so I guess this wasn't such a big deal?  And how does Lois force Robin to do all this?
Yep, good ol' fashioned blackmail!  Lois is quite the card.  Why Robin didn't just tear up the paper and then knock her out, I don't know.  Anyway, Lois has a bit of saving grace what with the donation, but still.  I agree with Perry on this one.

Meanwhile, a polar bear teaches a lesson in gun safety.

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